Oneness

Have you ever had that moment where your with someone and said to them, “You thinking what I am thinking?” You both give each other the confirming nod and proceed with what you had in mind. Turns out, it was not what you were thinking at all.

In my case it’s hit or miss equally. There are times where I wish my wife could read my mind, so that when it came time to make a decision, it wouldn’t require the verbal communication to make it. There were times where I would draw near to my wife to hold her hand, but when I did, I felt no closer than if I were standing across the room from her. In contrast, I’ve heard of stories where spouses are operating on the same frequency, wearing the same outfit or completing each other’s sentences without exchanging thoughts. Does this form of oneness exist in relationships? Is it something we’ve arrived at and work from or something we journey towards? We will examine various types of oneness through scripture and experience.

I am often marveled by Paul’s letters. They provide valuable insight into the culture he addressed and in turn can give insight for today. One in particular is when he address the sexual immorality that the church in Corinth was going through. He points out the following, “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh’ But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:16-17 NIV). I had always assumed oneness was about marriage, yet Paul describes it here as an act of sex. While there is a fleshly union between two people through intercourse, there is a spiritual union between God and humanity through Christ. If what Paul is saying is true, it would mean that every women I slept with before Catherine, was technically one with me. Though those relationship are long gone and over with am I still one with them today?

Paul gives us a clear definition, both bodily and spiritually as something that is joined together, working from a position of oneness–not towards. If this is the case, then why do we in our marriages, assemblies of common beliefs and variety of relationships feel isolated? At times we feel like we are two separate beings working against each other. Let’s examine what the Psalmist writes to address this issue. He writes, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down on the collar of his robe” (Psalms 133: 1-2 NIV). In this example, the psalmist uses comparison between oil and priestly elements to illustrate what unity looks like. The beard and garment are symbolic of being set apart while the oil represents the spirit. Thus, when the oil that soothes joins in with the beard and garments of holiness, it is anointed. When unity viewed in its proper form, we than can move in unison in all of our relationships.

Reflecting back on my last six years of marriage, I’ve come to realize that oneness isn’t necessarily being the exact same person, but rather becoming of one mind through our differences. I see the importance of winning a marriage rather than an argument. My spouse is not the enemy, but the companion worth fighting for.

Maybe we’ve looked at oneness the wrong way. Maybe it was never a feeling to obtain but a declared position breathed unto humanity by its very own creator. The ability to complement each other by our differences. Jesus was the best model demonstrator of oneness as he declared “I and the Father are one” (John 10:31 NIV). Maybe this is why we observe a theme of unity and oneness in Jesus’ prayer in John 17. Oneness isn’t something that we have to strive for, but by revelation, a responsibility to carry out. It is truth we can embody, that will strengthen our marriages, bond the assemblies, and unite humanity.